50 weeks at 50 years of aged to Shot SUBPAR

What was I thinking, was this just a crazy dream to replicate what I did 32 years? Since that day Ive spent he past 25+ years playing 4-5 times a year, all my spare time went to renovating houses, and spending time with the family. Like many people I sacrificed my love for game, in recent years I did join a local business group, which meant I could play with them once a month plus play another game throughout that month, but then that stopped due to, well a number of issues I wont go into.

So, for my 50th I mad myself a promise, I would rekindle my love for the game, invest in what I needed to return and give myself every chance to complete the challenge.

As I write this is the beginning of week 18, since the new year I have had no work, and so I’ve ben playing as much as possible, last week I played Monday - Friday, what a week,
Day 1 I shot 80,
Day 2 I shot 78,
Day 3 I shot 80
day 4 I shot 90
Day 5 I shot 97!!!

Now a little insight into my game, physically I fine, mentally I’m broken!
The past couple of years have not been the best, Ive struggled with depression for many years now, due to ill health, restless leg syndrome had me spending tormented nights trying to silence my legs, my tinnitus just seems to get worse and then I got diagnosed with Atrial fibrillation. After years of fighting to keep my company in the black I was in debt, I failed to launch a adult party game, nothing was going right. And then to top it all, my wife announced she wanted a divorce, just as I was trying to work out how to deal with my mothers slow memory decline. Now you would have thought that once on the golf course I could put all these issues to the back of my mind and just enjoy the freedom, but no, being a dyslexic my brain never switches off its constantly questioning and reminding me of everything in trying to forget (if only for 4 hours).

I’m struggling, the one thing I had left that could bring me enjoyment is now throwing up all manner of poor performances, weirdly today I would have been at the course, grinding out another round, trying to put the demons to bed, but then the depression took hold and kept my home.

I have the ability to shot under par, I know it, but my depression is effecting my game more than I could have imagined. I need a little light, a little happiness, a little break from the negative world I find myself wrapped up in. I recently played with the Nomad Golf Collective, 44 nomadic, independent golf brand owners, I played well, loved every minute of being there and felt a little like my old self, I love nothing more then meeting strangers on the first tee and walking off the 18th sharing numbers and chatting about future games, I have a dream of living life in the road travelling from golf course to golf course, meeting and playing with strangers sharing stories and making friends, but I have a 17, 15, 13 year old that I love dearly.

If anyone else out there is feeling a little under par, and wants someone to chat to, feel free to get intouch, the one thing I have found is that the fairway is often a great place to chat about your worries and concerns .

Anyway, I remain positive I will not let the shanks stop me playing, I will reach my goal, and SUBPAR will grow as starts to share its products with the world.

Follow my progress to shot SUBPAR in 50 weeks on instagram @subparlcub.